Success begins when you say kind things to yourself. When doubtful, judgmental, or discouraged I have found that the best remedy is to treat myself as a kind, supportive, and loving grandmother would.
Each morning I must kindly encourage my grumbling little self. You can not shame and belittle anybody into changing and this includes ourselves. Have compassion for yourself, especially in the morning.
How we treat ourselves upon awakening sets the tone for the day. I have developed a healthy habit that anyone can do. I get up before my wife to sit on the couch alone and enjoy a cup of coffee while I read a few inspirational books followed by prayer and meditation.
I rarely wake up optimistic. I must encourage myself every step of the way. From getting out of the bed, to making the coffee, letting the dog out, letting the dog in, gathering up my inspirational books, and then plopping down on the couch to begin. All the while soothing the negative chatter in my head with words of encouragement. It’s often, “Everything’s going to be OK Darrell. Once you have your coffee and do your readings you’re going to feel much better.”
It works every time, and even though I’ve experienced this to be true for over three decades I still must start my day with encouragement. This encouraging of oneself is the most effective method of prayer. It is prayer in its truest sense. The Sanskrit word for prayer, pal-al, means “judging oneself to be wondrously made.” Prayer is not begging for what you want, it’s acknowledging how wonderful you already are.
Life is not about jumping out of bed and racing into your miserable day. Doing that just reinforces feelings of inadequacy, lack and self-doubt. I can’t imagine a kind and loving grandmother ever yanking a child out of bed and shouting, “Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go! You’re going to be late! Now you’ll probably hit traffic! You’re never going to make it on time! Damn it! What a screw up. This is why you’ll never get ahead!”
Self-condemnation is poison to us. It poisons our ambition. It poisons our confidence. It poisons our dignity. It poisons our relationships, and it poisons our success.
If you really want to know how you are treating yourself just take a look at how you are treating others. This is why we must be kind to ourselves. When I treat myself with kindness, I feel good about myself. When I feel good about myself, treating others kindly seems to be a natural side effect. It’s effortless. To “love your neighbor as yourself” implies that you are as kind to yourself as you are to others.
When people are happy they’re kind to everyone around them. When people are scared or upset with themselves it brings up feelings of hostility, impatience, frustration, jealousy, envy, and blame towards others.
Treating ourselves with the kindness that a loving grandmother would give makes us feel good, and feeling good always attracts more to feel good about.
“A change of feeling is a change of destiny.” – Neville Goddard
For more on this topic listen to “Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed” via your favorite podcast app or visit www.DarrellandEd.com
Artist Darrell Fusaro is a decorated U.S. Coast Guard veteran, co-host of the “Funniest Thing! with Darrell and Ed” podcast and author of, “What if Godzilla Just Wanted a Hug?” To learn more about Darrell visit wwwThisWillMakeYouHappy.com